The second appearance of A Christmas Carol knockoff in my list, The Muppet Christmas Carol has that undeniable charm brought on by puppets doing Dickens. For me, this is the definitive movie adaptation of the Dickens’ classic, perhaps because I’m a firm believe in the dictum that everything’s better with Muppets. (Though I much prefer seeing the narrative play out in a tradition theatre play, complete with Christmas carols sung by the cast and the predictable plea for donations to a food pantry as the audience exits). Kermit can do no wrong as Bob Cratchit and Statler and Waldorf as Jacob and Robert Marley is a nice touch. Is there something slightly creepy about a world in which puppets and humans coexist? Certainly. Fortunately for us, the spirit of the Christmas overcomes it all.
3. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Yes, it has it’s strange moments—Chevy Chase dressed in women’s robes stuck in the attic watching old family videos, a sewer backup that results in a methane-fueled explosion, some (perhaps deserved) neighbor terrorizing, charred cat remains, etc.—but there’s no better holiday movie to reminder that however strange your family, you have nothing on the Griswolds.
Best lines:
Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?
Clark: Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace.
Aunt Bethany: [turns to Lewis] What, dear?
Nora Griswold: Grace!
Aunt Bethany: Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.
Uncle Lewis: They want you to say Grace.
[Bethany shakes her head in confusion]
Uncle Lewis: The BLESSING!
Aunt Bethany: [they all pose for prayer] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands/ One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Clark: Amen.
Clark: [talking to attractive store clerk] Yeah, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am I saying, nipple?
2. White Christmas
From the theatrical, purposely fabricated war setting of the opening scene to the “Sisters” lip-sync by Kaye and Crosby to the pleasant escapism of a holiday spent at a resort filled with artists and beautiful women (what a dream, huh?), this movie will melt even the hardest Scrooge-heart. Add to that Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby, two of the 50’s best entertainers, and Vera-Ellen, who for my money is one of the best dancers put on film, and you’re left with a holiday staple. There’s little better in this world than falling asleep on your mother’s couch just as Crosby leads the cast in “White Christmas,” and you nod off as the credits roll.
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